28 November 2005

I CAN'T HELP IT: I HATE HOTDOGS!

I absolutely abhor hotdogs.

When I was a kid, for reasons I can only guess at (finances, control issues, you name it), I had to eat them anyway. I also had to choke down lima beans and stewed tomatoes (straight up, heated right out of the can). But those, at least, could be argued to have some nutritional value.

I tried to just have the hotdog buns and toppings - minus those quivering taupe weiners, - but my request was repeatedly denied.

I can't tell you what's in a hotdog that's good for you. I don't think it even qualifies as a protein source, really (in my mind, as a fitness guy, that's a title reserved for something that has at least a gram more of protein than it does fat). Is there something so good in hotdogs that your kids have to eat them?

There was even a hotdog purgatory, in the town I did most of my growing up in, in the form of a hotdog restaurant. You walked into this place and ordered one of any of the 100 or so kinds of "gourmet" hotdogs that they had. It was my worst nightmare. My sisters loved it, though while I suspect that had at least a little to do with the fact that I hated it, I can't prove it.

To this day, I hate the humble hotdog. It's a flavour thing, not an ethics or food snobbery thing. Don't like beef, pork, chicken, or tofu weiners because they all taste like hotdog.

While the street vendor hotdog still pushes my buttons, they generally have such a great array of toppings on hand that I'll handle a veggie dog if I'm hungry and other options aren't available within 40 km (or 400 km if I'm driving). But I'd rather have the italian sausage, extra expense and waiting times be damned. No sausage? Okay, let's hit that veggie dog with some corn relish, pickles, olives, hot peppers, ketchup, barbeque sauce, mustard, and even the bacterial culture dish that comes out of a street vendor's mayo bottle. Weiner? What weiner?

There are a few other low-end of the nutritional scale foods that I don't like, but every once in a while, I find myself wanting them. Pancakes, for example, are something I crave about three times a year...even though I don't actually like them. Go figure. Fish sticks, well, I might handle those once in a three-year span. Hand me the tartar sauce, please. Baked beans? Sure, if I'm camping, or visiting a sugar shack in syrup season.

But hotdogs? No, thank you. Just can't do it. And frankly (pun intended), I don't see why I should.

3 comments:

aliea said...

This is Howie Aliea.
I had to leave something being I despise hotdogs as well. Ill have to peak at your stuff some more. Im a HUGE wine and cooking/baking freak. (being that I am half Italian and my Italian grandparents made darn sure I knew how to cook.)
Divertirsi! (Have fun!)

Thom said...

I am a former pastry chef, and having even taught cooking in the past. I was an organic farmer for ten years, and raised or grew 90% of my own meat and vegetables.
But I feel that I must admit to my dark little secret.
I love hot dogs with (gasp, dare I say it?) Cheeze Whiz!
About once every three months, I will turn on Jerry Springer and eat 6 hot dogs with canned Sauerkraut, and Cheeze Whiz. It is not something I readily admit too, but what the heck, I also go through my Kraft Dinner phases.
We all have our times when the curtains are drawn, the phone is off the hook and we satisfy our inner child!(who in my case seems to come from the backwoods of some southern state.)
Wonderful site, very informative, very creative and extremely well written. I will be checking in a lot. You would be a bonus to get to know, I think!

Anonymous said...

I have love them and hate me for loving them. I went through a dark period of eating two hot dogs a day... Then I didn't eat them for months, nearly a year. I didn't do anything else and Lost 16 lbs from not eating hot dogs for 9 1/2 months. They're terrible for you, so totally unhealthy. Why do I enjoy them so?!?!?

( broke down around July4th)